Friday, February 27, 2009

this kid better be a saint!

had another scare last night. worse than the first time.

since not everyone wants to read about the wonderful world of my uterus i'll just post the link.

scroll down to today's date.

bean update.

i'm so tired of seeing them, and i'm sure they are tired of my calls. i feel like that crazy pregnant woman.

come on kid! go easy on me.

i'm starting to think i suck at pregnancy.
yes ma, i know it's nothing i have control over.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

11 weeks!

i get so impatient after sunday for the next wednesday to come.

i think because with baby my new weeks started on sunday, with bean, it's wednesdays. it's hard to remember.

can't stop looking ahead and looking forward to the next few weeks.

hoping the nausea subsides. that hasn't been fun!

also hope my appetite comes back, i feel like little bean is starving, but nothing sounds good. tammy reassures me i'm not a bad mother already, and that's what prenatals are for. :)

happy wednesday!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

a different side of deployments.

this is dan.

(he loves us so much he shaved his goatee for the wedding!)

he and james were stationed in italy together.

he was with james on their first deployment to afghanistan in 2004.

dan served 3 years and was honorably discharged in 2006.

he was just called back up.

deploying next year to iraq. probably a year long.

he was in his last semester of college, getting ready to get married, and now this.

it is weird for james to be on this side of a deployment. he's never been the one back here.

that bond that they share, i'm sure there is a part of him that wants to go with. to be by his side. it was the same thing that pulled him back there when he was home on leave and one of his guys was injured.

if you're the praying type, please add him to your list. amanda too. she's never been through this before, and you all know how hard it was for me.

praying for all the military members out there. in the sandbox and stateside.

Monday, February 23, 2009

another bean photoshoot.

in less than a month we've had to have 3 ultrasounds. nice to see bean so much. it sounds like fun, but i wish we didn't have to stress about it at all.

i had an abdominal one today. bean really didn't like all the pushing and prodding. he/she was jumping around like crazy. it was so cool to see.

also saw how stubborn it can be while they were trying to get all the measurements. really though, would you expect any less from a product of james and i? :)

if the doctor sees a problem while looking over everything they'll call us. otherwise we are just supposed to assume it was all okay!

as we walked out i said to james "so did you see it jumping this time? did you know what you were looking at?" he said "yea, that WAS pretty cool!"

yes it was!

my thyroid is getting checked out tomorrow. hopefully that all looks good (well good for me) too, and we can stop worrying. (is that possible?)

10 weeks 5 days.

Friday, February 20, 2009


more babies to add to the list.

total 27.


still time for more people to find out and squeeze in a 2009 baby. interested to see how high that number gets!

flashback friday.

most are from 21 feb.

2005 -
i was listening to david essex "rock on"

- that songs makes me think of my cousin erik and luke

i had the hardest time falling asleep last night. might have been because maggs was dreaming about chasing who knows what and his paws were moving and kept scratching my wall, or because my mind was racing with all these artsy creations i wanted to do, or because i could not stop thinking about something, or because i could not keep my mind off camp and all the fun things i want to do to prepare for it and the fun things i can't wait to do while i am there, whatever the reason was i had to reset the sleep timer on my iPod after the first 90 minutes for another hour.

you may not know but i get bored with things easy. which is weird because i also hate change. hmmm imagine that. i am so tired of the same routine everyday at riley, trinity, and class. i think part of the reason is because i just really don't want to be there or doing that. i have definitely decided that i won't be going on in this field once i graduate. i just get so phased out sometimes. like driving up to school it is so routine and i find myself spaced out, i feel like i am just going through the motions. i hate that! it is funny how excited i get for something a little out of the ordinary. whether talking to someone unexpected on the phone, a birthday party at riley, or a package in the mail.

excitement for today was a birthday party, a care bear one, and being on the radio. i won the new delirious? cd for knowing switchfoot lyrics. it was so cool! i talked to tower, the radio guy, for awhile. he is fun and i was happy because when he said "so your name is shell? like the gas station?" and i replied "right, but with only one l" and he said "oh so like shel silverstein?" yes yes yes! then we talked about how great shel silverstein really is. i once memorized his poem 'sick' for my acting class at the library i was in when i was real little and dreamed of making it big and starring in a movie with jonathan taylor thomas. awww those were the days!

wanting to draw but must finish lesson plans...

2006 -

i won a 20 dollar gift card to panera for selling the most during valentines week!

along with the academy i would like to thank...

my dad. for teaching me how to be a good sales person.

ralf. for cheering me up on the days when i come home feeling blah. and bringing me reese's.

adrienne. for encouraging me to work in a flower shop in the first place.

and most importantly all the guys who i suckered in to buying more. this breads for you.

2007 -


this week has been a bit up and down.

but thankfully more ups.

new glasses.
new babies.
new friends.
new tobymac cd. (bam i saw you were listening to this too and i was so excited!)
long talks online.
phone calls from old friends.
webcams. definitely makes the distance to james seem smaller.
homemade dvds.
owning empire records again!
80degree weather.
friendly postal workers.
discovering the band "wailing jenny's" they are canadian. and also very clever.
slumber party plans!

i think i am getting sick, and adrienne said 21 kids were out the other day in the junior high alone. lots of strep. let's hope not. we checked each other's throats out tonight. hoping i feel better tomorrow!

2008 -

countdown updates.

11 school days until spring break and vegas!

25 days until my 25th birthday.

less than 2 months until james comes home!

12 weeks of school left.

5 months 1 week and 5 days until the wedding, plus 1 day until the honeymoon.

so excited! i cannot believe this deployment is almost over! may we never have to experience another one.

keep's what keeps me going.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

more home projects.

james came home with a chainsaw the other day. i was afraid, but trusted him.

he decided since the weather is nice he'll work on the yard a bit. he has grand plans. the main thing is to grow some grass. a feat around here.

he started out removing a few trees. me, being the one who wants to plant more trees, was against this idea. he wants to put a flag pole in though, and we did get some nice firewood.

i had to close the blinds because i just couldn't watch. turns out these two trees were actually connected (shows how much we pay attention to them) so he had to cut them pretty high.

he got both parts down without taking out the house, the electric wires, cars, or himself. so i'd say success!

before the tree removal began, he finished the laundry room in the basement. it still needs the ceiling, and i'm going to pain the doors, so part of the trim is off, but it's pretty much done! i love it! he did a good job.

the picture on the left shows the entrance to that side of the basement. the wall on the left is what he put in. the other picture shows the closet on the right. that isn't finished, but it will be soon!

so thankful for my handy man!

Monday, February 16, 2009


i counted in my head last night and i thought of 24 babies due in 2009. all friends or family of mine.


Sunday, February 15, 2009

survey about us.

stole this from friends. thought it was fun. to go with the valentine's day post.

thought this survey was fun. all about us.
1. What are your middle names?
lee and lee
2. How long have you been together? that's really hard to answer. started dating in july 2000. dated for 1.5 years. started talking again in april 2006.
3. Do you have any children together? an angel baby, and a new little one on the way.
4. What about pets? magglio (my beagle) and jude (our cockatiel we got together)
5. Did you go to the same school? no.
6. Are you from the same hometown? no, when we met we were an hour apart.
7. Do you live in the same town now? finally.
8. Who is the smartest? depends on the subject. he's stronger in math, me in english. (for example)
9. Who is the most sensitive? me.
10. Where is the first place you went to eat as a couple? we were at camp, but we got to leave and hit up burger king drive thru.
11. Do you wear matching clothes? no.
12. Where is the furthest you have traveled as a couple? we drove from indiana to the florida keys on our honeymoon.
13. Who has the craziest ex[es]? i think he does.
14. Who has the worst temper? him.
15. Who does the cooking? he cooks breakfast a lot on weekends, but i cook most every night.
16. Who's more social? probably him. i'm shy unless they are my friends or family. he can talk to anyone.
17. Who is the neat freak? usually him, sometimes me.
18. Who is the most affectionate? me.
19. Who is the most stubborn? we both are. he is the only person i can remember giving in to. he will not, so i guess he is more stubborn.
21. Who wakes up earlier? definitely him.
22. Where was your first date? the first time around we went to walmart, burger king, and the parking lot of auto zone. hey, we were only 16 and 17! :)
23. Who said "I Love You" first? i did the first time. i think he did the second.
24. How did you spend your 1st year anniversary? our first dating one we were both at the national youth gathering in new orleans. we got to meet up for a few minutes.
25. Who has the bigger family? me.
26. Who is younger? he is, by 15 months.
27. Who is the life of the party? i'd say him usually.
28. Who do you hope your kids turn out more like? a good mix. i hope one gets my height, or lack there of, so i am not the shortest in the family!
29. Who wears the pants in the family? i'd say he does, but he doesn't hold it over me. he keeps it pretty equal.
30. What's your favorite thing to do together? we probably watch movies more than anything.
31. Do you have the same political views? pretty much.
32. Who has the most stuff? that would be me.
33. Who controls the remote? i probably watch more tv than him, but if we are watching a movie, he usually takes it and sets it all up.
34. Who does the driving? he does. always.
35. Who takes out the garbage? it seems i usually take it down to the can, but he takes it out to the road. it all depends.
36. Who does the cleaning? mostly me.
37. Who does the laundry? me.
38. Who is the funniest? we're about the same.

valentine's day.

we had a great valentines day. our first one actually together. james woke me up with breakfast in bed (second time this week!) he also brought in some planted daffodils (my favorite), crocus, and hyacinth bulbs. what a great way to start the morning!

later we went on a bike ride. i didn't know where we were headed, but james headed towards gainesville. we ended up at jimmy johns! after some good food, we stopped at a used bookstore. i picked up a new book, and we headed home.

watched "the story of us." it was good, but it made me mad a lot of the time.

he told me we had dinner plans after 9. i asked what he was wearing, and he joked that he was wearing his jeans and old man cardigan. later he pulled out his suit, so i knew it was some place nice!

i got dressed up and we headed towards dahlonega. ended up at the oar house. a very nice place we went to with ma. had a very fancy dinner, laughed because we started talking about shoes and james said he couldn't tell me what shoes i had on other than black. i showed them to him and he said "oh yea, i like those ones, something about the front of them" he even said used the phrase 'drawn to them' :) finished dessert and headed home.

hung out with maggs and jude for a bit, then watched an episode of "cheers"

james and jude showed off their new trick. it cracks me up every single time.

jude eating his own feather. weirdo.

maggs and jude faced off.

my shoes that james is drawn to.

today we brought erica to the airport. adam left for ranger school for three months. so erica headed up to minnesota with brayden.

and now i'm watching the race! it's been a great weekend!

Friday, February 13, 2009

flashback friday.

from the days surrounding past valentines.

2005 - 14 feb

happy valentine's day!

my valentine count- 1 card from dad left on my desk this morning, 3 harry potter cards from two boys at riley (yep max gave me two just because) 1 scooby doo card, and 1 whale connect the dots card. oh and 3 messages on im when i got home. thanks for sending joy my way!

love to you all...

2006 - 13 feb

worked 12.5 hours today. that's half a season of 24.

sold $4,139.35 worth of product. that is $2,139.35 more than my goal.

it's usually a good day if i break $1,000. not to brag, but most people never hit that.

yay for valentines day. go buy a gas station rose. save me the hassle.

i kid i kid.

in other news...

i got a magglio bobblehead and a houston ball from world series batting practice from luke and tammy.

never wrote to the 24 fans to tell you luke's pastor baptized the new ctu guy. sean astin. or for those who know him better as sam the hobbit. ralf and i like to make halos around our head and sing a heavenly aaaaaaaaaa when he comes on screen. it's fun. try it.

2007 - 15 feb

candy heart coma.

yes it's true. i enjoy valentines day. maybe because i have a slight thing with mail. i love giving and receiving. i loved making mailboxes in the summer and sorting my family's mail. so making a mailbox out of my heart shaped trashcan and proudly bringing it to school knowing it would be coming home stuffed with love (because we had to write valentines to everyone) was always something to look forward to. i even loved the valentines day in college that i got a "love bites" balloon from my roomie and neighbor. as much as i wanted to hate the day, i couldn't. maybe it's because i have a big heart (too big as some people think.) but it's just so great to see everyone else stop and love. even if it's just for one day. so here is my valentines happiness. in no particular order...

talking to everyone in my family yesterday.
cards of love from my friends.
candy hearts. especially the ones with spanish writing!
wake up calls.
all the cheesy goodness i hate to, chocolates and a teddy bear...sent from afghanistan.
the customer who said..."oh he is serving his country and he still remembers you!" ha.
the delivery boy who was still in a good mood. believe me, i worked in a flower shop. i know how hard that day is.
girly movies and whataburger.
hearing that my mail got to their destinations on time.
the pictures of snow from aunt steph and everyone else.
valentine pencils from barbara. made me feel like a kid.
a time to love.
pictures of emma and evia with their breakfast chocolates smeared on their faces.
tate's "be mine" message. adorable.
camper talks.
getting to enjoy it all today, because i have no work!

sorry to all those that hate this holiday. i just love the basic meaning. love.

happy thursday!

i love you!

2008 - 17 feb (this one in honor of the daytona 500 on sunday)

happy new season day!

daytona 500 today, i am so ready for another season. i got my kasey kahne full size cut out (thanks to narb) a budweiser (for his new sponsor) and my laptop ready for trackpass (thanks dad!)

it's the most wonderful time of the year...

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

baby update.

we just got back from the doctor. follow up from the ultrasound yesterday. the info is on the baby page in the doctor updates section if you want to know what we found out!

we'll see them again in 2 weeks.

hopefully not sooner!

she's done it again.

aunt nancy made an amazing video to share at sunday dinner.

we really wish we could have been there to view it with everyone! i'm sure it was a nice night "remembering helen"

the story of my grandparents...

go see it here since my dad removed it from youtube.

for those who may not know, my dad is the oldest son, the one with dark hair. aunt nancy, the maker of all the great movies, she's the baby. :)

thanks nancy!

Monday, February 9, 2009

new bean pictures.

last time just for comparison. 6 weeks 6 days.

today at 8 weeks 5 days.

if you click the baby link and go to the ultrasound page there are two more pics!

this weekend.

was rough.

i have been having cramping off and on. saturday i woke up and realized i was spotting. called the doctor and he wanted me on bed rest until monday. then i could go in and get an ultrasound done.

james hung out and was a bum with me.

we called to schedule the ultrasound first thing this morning.

i was so afraid of it being today because not only was the dreaded 8 weeks and 5 days, but it is also the 10th anniversary of my grandma's death.

i've hated 9 feb ever since. i was hoping this one was going to be a good one.

so i put on my good luck outfit, and it pulled through again!

the baby looked great. heart rate was good, we got to hear it and see the little flicker on the screen.

what a beautiful sight. even for james who still doesn't really know what he was looking at!

she asked if i had a cup of coffee this morning because the baby was moving a lot and the heart rate was a lot higher than the last time. no coffee just a lot of butterflies in my stomach!

i'll have pictures soon. james is going to scan them. apparently my take a picture of a picture isn't good enough for him. :)

thank God for a good day.

and i know grandma was up there watching over us and bean.

we all miss you.

Friday, February 6, 2009

flashback friday.

2005 -

happy superbowl err...i mean transfiguration sunday! (right ralf?!?) supposedly it's even better than this guy... at the first superbowl ever!

again tom brady why are you so cute and have to play for the patriots?

i love weekends with ralf.

i hate lesson plans.

i love superbowl parties!

happy football day...

2006 -

okay so now that i am thinking a bit more clearly let me explain...

i was on my way to lafayette for cori's 21st surprise party. we were all going to meet her at harry's. i was running a bit late because i got stuck in traffic due to an accident. the whole way up i saw people in the ditches and had to slow down a few times because there were tow trucks, ambulances, police cars...pretty much anything with lights.

well we were coming up on another accident and the guy in front of me slowed down. i was a few seconds behind him and when i went to slow down i slid. a few other cars were sliding and going off in the ditch. i swerved to miss one of them and ended up going downhill. i had to time to think, "man this is a long way." the fireman estimated it was a good 70 feet down. i hit the ditch and we think my tires must have stuck and the next thing i knew i was hanging upside down. i don't really remember flipping. i let the pressure up on my belt and unbuckled myself, somehow got down without falling on my head. the windshield and passengers side window was broken and water was coming in. not too much just enough to ruin my phone and my journals and get me wet and smelly.

i was so confused on which way everything was. i felt like i was in the passengers seat and i went to reach for my light where it usually is and then remembered "oh yea it is all backwards because you are actually sitting on the ceiling." same thing when the fireman got there, i went to turn down my radio and actually turned it all the way up. i reached for my phone then remembered it would be in the cup holder so i reached over my head and then realized "but no it would have fallen" it was strange, i was confused and very scared.

the firemen got there right away because they were already helping other cars. they saw me go down and were afraid that there were fatalities or i would be knocked out. air bags did not come out and overall jones faired pretty well. they were yelling for me and asking how many were in there. it was just maggs and i. somehow he and i were both unharmed. i even had a cement stepping stone in the backseat and he didn't get knocked out by it. i was so thankful he wasn't in the passengers seat because i don't know if he would have been thrown out the window or what.

they got us out and carried me across the ditch. i went up to the fire truck to call dad who was expecting me anytime. they wanted to put a collar thing on, but i refused because i felt okay. i did have to go in an ambulance so they could check my vitals. maggs hopped in to and i don't think they were going to protest. he would not leave my side.

the firemen drove me to meet dad at a gas station and jones was towed to frankfort. i was able to see him on sunday and get my stuff out of the trunk. then we had to go to the site of the accident to get my stuff out of the ditch. when they tipped my car back over stuff fell out and the jerks that they are left it there. all but my gps unit. we think they stole that.

dad said the only thing he wanted from the accident walked away.

i am so thankful for the people that were there. it was definitely the scariest thing i have experienced and even worse being alone.

aunt steph said God must have big plans for me, he wanted to keep me around a little longer. and i cannot be reminded enough that he had an angel riding with me.

my whole life i have always thought that inanimate objects have feelings, thus all my stuffed animals having to sleep on my bed for fear of leaving one out, or loving the brown crayon because no one ever wants it. that is how i feel about jones. i feel so bad for what happened. i know it was an accident, but i was so attached to him and i hate that he is ruined. i did not want to leave him at the junkyard. he really was a beast of a car. i abused him so much and he was so good to me. he can withstand a lot.

i just worry about what happens now. dad told me i shouldn't, but i can't help it. i am still pretty shook up and upset. it was good to work today. kept my mind off it, but i am scared to get back on i-65. the last two times haven't been the best. i am also starting to feel it a little bit. they told me i would probably be sore.

ashley a girl i work with brought me jimmy johns today. she is friends with jenna dob. thanks jenna for telling her what i like. that was the sweetest thing. thank you ashley.

my new shoes from the summer spent the night in the ditch, so yes taylor they are now officially dirty.

maggs is still a little freaked. dav said he went crazy when he was driving on 65. he also doesn't like when i leave.

thanks for all the prayers and support guys. it means a lot. thanks for being there. i needed it. more than you know.

dad put some pictures up of my car and the hill. the first and second one you can see where dad and dav are picking up my stuff. mom was standing at the top where i first went off. to see them go here.

i also need your numbers again. my phone is fried, but we transferred my number to mom's phone which i am currently using, so if you need to get ahold of me you can. message me your number or just call.

this year can get better anytime now.

psalm 56:3-4 when i am afraid, i will trust in you. in God, whose word i praise, in God i trust; i will not be afraid.

remember you are always resting in His arms; let yourself rest there. - adrienne

psalm 57:1-2 have mercy on me, o God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. i will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed. i cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose for me.

2007 -

lazy eye and annie hall.

went to the eye doctor today.

he said i should only wear my contacts for a month and then throw them out. eek! i have had some for over 4 months or longer before.

i also found out that my left eye is dumb. it's lazy and makes my right eye do all the work. he did a couple tests and said "interesting." apparently when i am looking with both of my eyes the left one just drops (can't find a better word) a little. and he said my brain has become accustomed that it just doesn't use it, because if it did i would see double. and the right one does all the work. it's something that you are born with.

subbing tomorrow and the next day for the computer teacher. yikes! stripes fruit striped gum.

happy day!


be strong.

2008 - this was actually from the 5th. i didn't blog on the 6th.

pray for levi...

if you would.

his surgery is tomorrow. i am heading up there this afternoon. so thankful i don't have school tomorrow, so i can be there. i will be back here tomorrow night.

be with the doctors, and nurses and everyone taking care of him.

keep him strong.

be with luke and tammy, and all our other family and friends.

thank you for the wonderful support system You have given us.


Thursday, February 5, 2009

8 weeks.

so i'm in my 8th week.

this is the week that the first baby stopped growing.

i'm trying not to stress, but as someone on a miscarriage and pregnancy loss message board said..."once you lose a baby, your innocence is gone." pregnancy isn't all excitement and fun. it's tarnished with worry and fear.

every little feeling is analyzed and stressed about. "is that normal?" "should i be feeling this way? or that?" "i just have to wait it out, there is nothing i can do." "this is going to be a long 9 months."

james and i talked a little bit about it last night. i finally dusted off one of my books and cracked it open. well, guess what week 8 was all about. miscarriages. lovely.

james said he really wishes someone would have told us the first time how often they can occur. he said he would have felt more prepared.

i don't think you can ever prepare for something like that. i cannot even begin to explain all the thoughts that go through your head, all the feelings you experience after a loss of a baby. it is unreal.

most of those thoughts were magnified when we were at the hospital before my surgery. i just sat there so mad. like "how could this happen?" "if it hasn't fully happened yet isn't there something someone can do?" "don't they care?!" "what did i do that caused this." "i should have protected it better, it was in my body, i failed."

as much as i know that there is nothing i could have done, it just weighs on you. you are the parent and you should do everything possible to protect your baby. i hate feeling helpless.

my big fear is that since we had a missed miscarriage last time. we'll never know if something is wrong. i had no clue the last time. no hint of anything being wrong.

just walked into that 12 week appointment. happy to be almost out of the first trimester, looking forward to hearing the heartbeat. then our world came crashing down.

this is another reason why i don't think i can breathe easy until the next appointment. it's at 12 weeks. hoping we have better news this time around. james will surely be by my side this time.

i know the chances of a miscarriage go down once you see the heartbeat. thankfully we got to this time at 6 weeks, but i still fear this week and the 12th week.

it seems i always think "if we could just get past this point." then it comes and goes, and it's on to the next thing. "if we get past that week...then i'll feel good." i wonder how long that will last. the whole time? it's going to be a long 9 months.

so we pray. that's all we can do. it's not up to us. we need to remember that.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

home improvements.

james has been working on a little project around here. he finally finished the first part of it, so i thought i'd share.

i have to explain the set up first.

we have two room coming off of our kitchen. the first room you came to was the laundry room. behind that was the pantry.

when we tried to move his washer and dryer in we realized they were just an inch or two too big to fit in the existing laundry room. so he decided to build a laundry room downstairs. i've shared pictures of that already. it's still a work in progress.

well up here, we figured we'd move the pantry to the first room. then eventually we could close off the back room and expand our master bath. (it shares a wall with the old pantry.)

so far we got the pantry moved. the rest will have to wait until we have time and money.

we did sell the washer and dryer they left here on craigs list and made $100 in a little over 10 minutes. it was awesome!

so here is what it looked like before. (well, this is after we moved the washer and dryer, and he patched all the holes. we painted the pantry the same color as the kitchen too.)

the first picture is taken from the kitchen so you can see how it was a door, one room, a door, the second room. the second picture is the old laundry room which also had shelves in it. the third picture is the old pantry. it had two walls of shelves.

and the after. i was so excited to organize. the old pantry started out as storage of wedding gifts. then as we got stocked up on food it had random cans stuffed everywhere. it was a mess! this is so much better!

the pictures should actually be flipped. (i just realized) the one on the right you can see continued on the picture on the left.

it's all confusing to explain, so maybe you should just come visit and see for yourself!

Monday, February 2, 2009

it's been half a year...

Sunday, February 1, 2009

lutheran dork.

i'm going to be a lutheran dork for a little bit. today at the voter's meeting after church we discussed adopting the "new" lutheran hymnal. (lsb)

i got so excited while ben was explaining it to the congregation.

1. because when i was in texas our church there adopted it. it was very exciting.

2. because he mentioned the different services it had in it. when he said page 15, i was giddy.

i laughed remembering the singing war rufio and i had at camp over the blue and red hymnal. we sang very obnoxiously in the staff lounge some favorite hymns from our respective hymnal. not even stopping to listen to one another.

oh how i love the old red hymnal.

it was unanimous, and we will be slowly adding these to our pews. i cannot wait for the full transition!

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