Wednesday, July 19, 2017

17 years ago...

i was a 17 year old girl. volunteering at camp for 2 weeks.

i met a boy.

we shared my first kiss.

and life would never be the same.

that's the short story.

but there is so much more.

i documented everything in my journals.

we exchanged numbers. home numbers.

we kept in touch through icq, aim, and yahoo messenger. yes...icq.

i didn't have my license so ma had to drive me an hour to visit him.

we'd swing through the drive thru of burger king just so he and i could flirt.

he came to my homecoming dance.

we thought ahead and lied about his age, so when the time came he could go to my prom.

we left messages on answering machines.

we wrote notes...not texts.

he was there at my graduation open house.

he helped move me in to my dorm freshman year.

we held hands on the night of 9-11.

we held each other.

we couldn't get in touch over the phone when my roommate was on the internet.

we went to my first frat party.

we took selfies without being able to see them instantly.

we fell in love.

but i was young...and he was younger.

and we broke up.

i drowned myself in dashboard confessional and incubus.

i wrote poems.

i wrote letters to him that i'd never send.

i burned his stuff and he got rid of mine.

i was a brokenhearted college kid. it was insufferable.

(seriously, reading my journals, i'm pretty sure i defined emo.)

years passed.

we got lost in others.

we both grew up.

we found ourselves.

but neither one of us forgot.

and then myspace happened.

and we found each other.

a slow restart, but a restart.

now a college graduate and a soldier.

letters written.

yahoo video chat.


cell phone calls.


a deployment.

10 years ago he proposed.

he was in afghanistan, and i was in indiana.

things were still difficult, but we were together.

right where we were supposed to be all along.

more years have passed.

and i still can't believe that i get to be with that cute workboy from camp.


p.s. alone in my car tonight, i listened to that dashboard cd. i could still belt every. single. word.

Monday, May 29, 2017

remembering...not celebrating.

8 years ago i was a new army wife. there was a baby in my belly. we went to a memorial day service in georgia. i remember being filled with pride for my soldier. i'm sure i was smiling.

3 years ago (in march) i was no longer an army wife. there was a baby in my belly, and two by my side. we went to a funeral in georgia. the same cemetery as before. i remember being filled with sadness for my friend. i'm sure i was crying.

there is nothing more humbling than a military funeral.

it changed everything.

i've seen a lot of memes about how it's not "happy memorial day" i'm sure i've said that at some point in my life. now i realize that this day is more than that. to the families left behind that word "happy" really stings.

be careful with your words.

instead, pray for the husbands and wives, the parents, the children, siblings...let them know that you remember. go to a service. put out your flag. be thankful that there are people out there willing to make the ultimate sacrifice.

this year i'm a pastor's wife. there are three kids by my side. we went to a service at a cemetery. james got the honor to speak. i reminded the kids why we are going. who we are honoring. that we are remembering. not celebrating.
John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

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