Friday, September 26, 2014

welcome mr. abner lee!

someone was impatient and decided to come early...and fast!

after a whirlwind labor we welcomed abner lee on sunday september 21st at 7:14am.

he weighed 6 pounds 6 ounces and was 19 inches long.

i was afraid that he was going to be the one child that would be late, and i was also afraid since hattie was 2 weeks early and still weighed 8 pounds!

he came at 36 weeks 5 days, guessing by his weight he would have been a lot more chunky had he waited!

so here is his story...or a short form of it.

thankfully it happened on a weekend so james was home, otherwise he probably would have missed it!

at my 36 week appointment i wasn't dilated at all, but i was thinning. i had been having random contractions, but nothing major.

i had just finished sewing a bassinet sheet and some pants for the baby. nesting in the form of crafts. i asked james if he could get the bassinet out of the garage so i could get it set up. most of the baby stuff was in the actual bassinet, so he decided to just bring it all in. carseat went out in the car, and with that, he unknowingly started abner's story. i blame him partly for it happening, he just had to put the seat in!

so that night (saturday) i went to bed feeling fine. james and i discussed names a bit more. awhile ago i had mentioned abner and in the same way i won him over with delia he replied "i could probably go for that with a really good back scratch." my brother and sister-in-law joked that he should really aim higher than a back scratch. ;) so i scratched his back that night, and fell asleep thinking, this kid just has to be an abner. we couldn't agree on a girl name, and abner just felt right.

well, he must have gotten the memo because at 2:45am i was woken up with painful contractions.

opened up my app, smiled seeing hattie's record and delia's, started timing and then decided to sit in the bath. of all the times i timed contractions at home, none were this painful. i sat in there about an hour, and when i got up i realized we should head in. as i was walking around they were stronger and much closer together.

called my parents to get them over to sit with the sleeping girls. they arrived around 4:30am and after throwing stuff into bags, we headed in to the hospital.

i am guessing we arrived around 5am. my bracelet has us officially checked in as a patient at 5:39am. (he arrived about an hour and a half later...impatient little one!)

the nurse checked me and i was 4cm and the sac was bulging. perfect! epidural please!

except they were busy, i had to wait for an iv, then wait for one bag to get in my system, wait for the anesthesiologist.

i was growing impatient, knowing that my labor and delivery is pretty quick, and afraid i wasn't going to get one. hattie's birth was very relaxing, and i wanted that same experience. with her it was the one time the epidural worked out like it should. eliza's was too late to be effective. delia's is just a blur. it worked, but the situation was obviously not relaxing.

i was sort of excited about the time. it was almost shift change, and i heard that my favorite doctor was starting. one of my favorite nurses (my sister-in-laws cousin, she was our nurse with delia) was just ending her shift, and she popped in to say hi. we hadn't brought our bags up yet, so we didn't have my camera. she offered to man my phone, and video on her phone. (she said i had to see one of our births, and i had the same thought a few weeks ago. not sure i will ever watch it again, but it was cool to see after. everything just went so fast, there was no time to stop and absorb anything)

after digging around, chasing my rolling vein, the iv was in. we were trying to drop hints that we really needed to get the whole process moving, or i knew there wouldn't be time.

then came the shakes. i could not stop shaking. uncontrollable. i remembered this with eliza, and knew what it meant. they came in, checked, and sure enough, i was at an 8. no time for an epidural, this was happening whether i was ready or not.

after the doctor checked he said he was going to scrub up and told the nurse to get a table A-S-A-S-A-S. my head went straight to something was wrong, and i needed a c-section. so panic mode set in. i had an anxiety attack, and just freaked. even after knowing that i wasn't going anywhere, i was just terrified of delivering all natural.

james was super supportive, and helped calm me down, but they also gave me a shot of pain meds in my iv just to take the edge off me. unfortunately abner was super impatient and he ended up getting a hit of that which made things complicated after.

apparently he was starting to come out sunny side up (ouch!) and needed to be turned. pushing is usually my favorite part, but it was so frustrating this time. i just wanted it to be over. the doctor was trying to get me to breathe correctly, and my mind was telling me what to do, but i just couldn't settle down. i remember him telling me there was a point when i needed to pant like a dog. he would tell me when, and i just could not make myself do it. he kept saying "like a chihuahua think like a chihuahua." and i wanted to laugh, but i couldn't. a few more pushes and he was out, the cord was wrapped around his body from the turn he had to make. (james said he got lost on the way out)

when he came he looked so purple. not crying and so still. i freaked. after losing a child that is something you do not want to see. i was so afraid that something went wrong. james was my rock, and calmed me down. once i heard "he is okay" i just freaked. "HE?! a boy?!" anxiety turned to joy. he was able to be on my chest for a little bit, and james got to hold him, but then they had to take him to check his breathing.

his breathing was fast, and he had a song he liked to sing. a continuous squeak. they said he was doing that because he was trying so hard to breathe. it was the sound of him working. so they took him to the nursery for monitoring. he ended up having to stay there through the first night, and most of the next day. it was hard, but we were able to see him and hold him whenever we wanted. he couldn't try to nurse until the song stopped, and his breathing slowed, but i pumped and he had a tiny feeding tube.

the next day we were finally able to break him free, and let his sisters love on him.

we stayed another night in the hospital, and he had to return once to the nursery for a panic moment by me. they monitored him for an hour, and he calmed down, so we were sent back to our room. we joked that he got a taste of the real world, and his sisters, and he just wanted to go back! his doctor didn't like that episode, so she wanted us to stay one more night. we weren't too happy, but knew it was for the best. he was early, he was doing great, but better to be safe than sorry.

with the girls we were out right after they were 24 hours old, so it was hard for us. a nice break, but mostly we were just uncomfortable and wanted to be home. also felt bad for my parents that were taking care of the girls.

wednesday was his first day home, and he is doing great! we just got back from a weight check and he is back up, and a few ounces over his birth weight. the girls are so in love, and we are too! still can't believe i have a son. and the backscratch must have been good enough. once he was here i couldn't even think of any other name we were considering. he was abner the whole time...sorry james...not wolfgang!

 chilling in the nursery, before the feeding tube was in.
 my men!
you are the best thing.
she went to bed sad the first night because she didn't get the chance to hold him. she wanted a brother so bad!
 attempts at our first family picture.
my tag for the girls is always #firstandthird which makes me think of baseball. chances are he is our last, so now it's #firstandthirdandhome i bought a tiny pink shirt and a tiny blue one and that's how we were going to surprise everyone when they came back to meet bug. dude had other plans though!
hattie is pretty interested in him. she loves to poke him on the nose (a game we always play with her) and constantly points and says "baby!"
no initial on his shirt like his sisters. 1. because we didn't have a name set. and 2. he came too early for me to have a backup plan!

on this side of the natural birth thing, i am singing it's praises. recovery was amazing. i was not happy with it during, but james said i actually complained less this time. ha! maybe it's that i wasn't ready for him, and didn't get my nest all fluffed, but i couldn't wait to come home and just fuss over him, and finish getting things in order.

nervous about life with three kids, but so far he is easy. we'll see how that all changes!

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

on sisters...again.

when i was pregnant with hattie i was terrified of her being a girl. i was so afraid that it would be harder. the hole from delia would somehow be larger because i would daily be reminded of what "should have been."

at the same time, i wanted a sister for eliza. i wanted her to experience that bond.

everyone guessed that hattie was going to be a boy, so we were more than surprised when the doctor said "it's a girl!"

God knew exactly what was right for us.

and He shows us time and time again.

to see the two of them together? totally melts me.

lately they argue, and fight, but they also love, oh do they love!

as i get annoyed because they are messing around during lunch, i catch james grinning. he says "just look at them...they adore each other."

it is so true, and i thank God that eliza got another little sister.

it makes this picture so much sweeter. knowing that it is hattie she is kissing.

the black and white version is on our fridge and i just smile anytime i see it.

the last few nights i have had to go upstairs and shoo them back to bed. caught them trying to camp on the floor, and share eliza's bed. i told them i didn't mind if they did, they just couldn't be so loud!

well, tonight, they figured it out. and my heart skipped a little when i saw them. just thinking of how much i longed for moments like this. for eliza to have a sister. for them not being able to get enough of each other.
 anxious to see how bug fits into this family. eliza is more than ready for another sibling. she claims she wants a brother. then again, she also claims that she will change every stinky diaper! she is pretty excited to have "two babies to take care of!" 

had to capture some pics of the girls and my growing belly the other day. wanted to make sure i got eliza with this one too. my favorite one didn't turn out perfect, but i love the look on her face and how she wraps her arms around me/bug.
and to compare, how much she has grown. here she is when i was pregnant with delia.
oh eliza, you were made for this big sister thing.

Monday, September 8, 2014

why i might keep the baby monitor forever...

so, the girls now share a room. hattie is still unable to open doors (praise God!) and with eliza being such a sound sleeper, we keep the baby monitor in there.

at first i kept it hidden under hattie's bed. just so eliza didn't know we were creeping on her. then hattie discovered it one night, and when our end started beeping incessantly, i realized she unplugged it.

so i found a new spot, and eliza is aware that we can hear, but doesn't always remember.

like tonight...i got to hear story time with eliza.

as frustrating as they can be. as annoying as it is to remind them that it is time to sleep. moments like this just make you laugh.

i usually only turn it on when i go to bed, but i thought i heard hattiesaying "i stinky." so i flipped it on for a second, and caught this.

i missed a few parts, but she was talking faster than i could type, and i started late. i wish you could have heard the voices she used. and the way she drew out her words to make it sound spookier.

"jo bear, do you want to me to tell you a story? a spooky story?

once there was a mommy. a spooky mommy. she said "hello. i am a ghost."

a g-g-ghost?!

i am leaving today. to beyond the never sea i shall go. see the whole world is waiting for me. and i will never come back again. but you shall all stay here. it's a long journey. you can come if you want.

i am going to need somebody to watch over the kids.

i want you to count on me.

jo bear, i trust you.

and i will never come back, unless you want to come with me. that is fine. would you like to? or not? because i will be gone many days.

:hear the winding of her hand powered flashlight:

how much days?

ok, i will come with you, we will come with you to have a sleepover.

no, i am going to travel the world. with sunshine and rain.

what is this? dinosaurs. meet the kind of dinosaurs. dinosaurs. dinosaurs. real!

i don't want to see dinosaurs.

will you come with me?

yes, mommy!


i see dinosaurs!

your mother sent you a message. send it back. i can see the world. draw on paper. if you ever forgiven me."

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