Tuesday, January 24, 2012

from where i'm standing...

or in this case...sitting.

i see...

  • three littles that are growing up more like sisters than cousins.
  • a favorite toy that has provided lots of entertainment.
  • a dress up doll eliza gave me, and she used the underwear as a hat!
  • creative minds.
  • baby deandra that is exploring a lot these days.
  • my favorite couch quilt that aunt steph made for our wedding.
  • lots and lots of polka dots.
  • scheming between bffs.

i feel...

  • joy because today was a zillion times better than yesterday.
  • peace since they decided to not fight.
  • love growing watching them play together.
  • defensive when they leave deandra out.
  • pride for all the ways eliza makes me laugh.
  • like one little is missing.
  • happiness when eliza asks to "watch delia" (her movie) like she did moments after this was taken.
  • sore legs from the run i just finished.
  • wet hair from the shower i actually got to take.
  • gratitude for whitney coming early so both of those were possible.
  • like it's going to be a happy tuesday.

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from where i'm standing...


she is signed up for her first class.

we bought her leotard today.

had to find something to make it her own too.

rainbow leggings seemed right.

the cashier said "oh! are you a dancer?!"

she proudly replied "yes!"

papa asked her about what she is going to learn.

somersaults? jumping? balancing? to stand on your head?

her face turned from excited to what i can only describe as "wtf?"

you could see it register in her head what he just said and she got the "wait. what?" face on.

it was hilarious.

can't wait to see her in action!

Sunday, January 22, 2012


eliza took me back to those early days last night.

walked in to find her snoozing away in our bed.

the image on the left flashed in my head and i knew i had to snap another.

:sigh: my baby.

Friday, January 20, 2012

this and that.

this is her favorite corner in the apartment.

on the counter right above it is "tandy!"

she is my daughter. she loves candy!

we walked into the post office the other day. she knows which lady has candy. unfortunately the line led us to a different employee. we get up there and she just tells the lady "i want a ducker!"

(she did get one, after saying please and thank you!)

another favorite thing to say, that i would rather forget goes like this.

"mommy, i want dis!"

"what's this?"

"dat. i want dat."

"i don't know what dat is."

"it's dis!"

:bangs head:

i wonder if it's as frustrating for her to not having all her words yet as it is for us!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

from where i'm standing...

i see...

  • lots of flooding.
  • a reminder of the crazy weather.
  • tops of trees.
  • my view from when i run.
  • freedom to run without many cars or houses.
  • clouds that remind me of her, and make me curious as to what she's up to up there.

i feel...

  • tired from said run.
  • proud for keeping with c25k for 4 weeks.
  • energized.
  • a peace from getting out alone.
  • a warm breeze in january!

add your link. share your own on your blog. link back to this list.

from where i'm standing...

Saturday, January 14, 2012

bath and bed.

i want to remember this stage.

she fills her hands with bubbles and blows.

i remember pretending it was my birthday cake and i had candles to wish on.

she practices floating and is already better than me. (i think the belly helps)

i find her just laying back and relaxing. not a care in the world.

she slips back and says "ahhhh" like she has had a long day.

she flips over and says "i timmin! i timmin mommy!" (swimming)

she climbs out by herself and i wrap her in a pink bunny towel from art box in korea.

pink bunnies are her favorite, you know.

if she's not in that one it's a towel that aunt tammy made. she walks around saying "tammy towel?!"

she hops in her bed on the floor (it's temporary until we get in the house) and requests her bunny and puppy be in their sleeping bag.

she grabs her blanket and listens to a story. repeating as many words that she can.

she folds her tiny hands and tries to say her prayers.

she has the "God bless daddy, mommy, baby, eliza, delia, and pebble" down. she always forgets "power" in "for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory"

she holds our heads and pulls us closer for kisses.

she alternates mommy kiss, daddy kiss, mommy kiss, daddy kiss...

if daddy isn't home she still turns toward where he would be and kisses the air in between my kisses.

she points to her eyes when she says "i uff to!" (i love you)

it's my favorite time of day. :)

Friday, January 6, 2012

the night of may 11th.

i go back there randomly. it was the night after that ultrasound.

the hardest night of my life.

a night of wrestling with God. with myself.

a friend posted a link to an article posted by a woman who worked at planned parenthood.

it described a procedure that changed her life. seeing an abortion happen through an ultrasound.

the images she described made me sick.

then i was taken back.

to when i asked the doctor "but she's alive, right?"

thankful i did.

ashamed that i ever considered their suggestion of terminating.

right back to that night of inner struggle.

i thought i knew what would be easier.

it still may have.

but we never would have held her.

and kissed those chubby cheeks.

and heard her tiny cry.

and saw her with her big sister.

examined her all over.

compared her hair color to eliza's.

watched her be baptized.

loved on her.

saw our family love on her.

been with her...in that moment.

the one that was too short.

however short...i am thankful.

thankful we thought it out.

listened to families concerns.

that i had a dream of her telling me it would be okay.

that james was there. physically and mentally. right there with me.

for that phone call in the morning from aunt steph.

i was reassured.

it would be okay.

even when it's not okay...it will be.

must be doing something right.

last night during prayers i said "now i lay me" and eliza butted in "down to sleep" (or seep as she says) james and i just looked at eachother in surprise and pride. she will repeat parts of each prayer, but she never said a part by herself!

Monday, January 2, 2012

toddler responsibilities.

a few weeks ago a search on pinterest gave me the idea for a chore chart.with a side eye from james because she's only 2. i started thinking.i knew i wanted magnets and something cute and simple.then i thought of my cousin's shop. she makes custom buttons. 100s of them for wedding favors. combined with her graphic design degree, i knew she would deliver on the cute factor.i told her what chores i wanted, some pics i thought of and let her go. she came up with this, and it was perfect!

i asked her to leave the pin part off so i could attach a magnet.

i originally wanted the chart part to be in a frame with a magnetic sheet in there, but the piece we bought to cut wasn't magnetic! so i improvised and came up with this.

hung it at her height on the fridge and tomorrow we'll start! i'll post the other part of this later. some people are against earning allowance for chores, but i want her to learn. helping out in our family and the importance of giving and saving with a bit to spend! we'll see how this goes with a 2 year old!

eta - i made little banks for her. still figuring out how much she will earn each week, but i want to make sure she sees the importance of giving and saving first.

i'll probably go to the bank and get a roll of nickles and she will get one for each chore and get to put two in each jar per day.

the chores i picked are mostly ones she already does. i just want her to be able to chart her progress. it will also help remind me to brush her teeth!

she got very excited this morning after feeding share (her fish) when she got to move the magnet.

let's see how long it lasts!

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