Wednesday, August 22, 2012


are way funnier with an almost three year old than a two year old.

especially the things she comes up with to say.

even if it's in public and she's trying to get me arrested.

today we drove up to indy to do some shopping at a paper store. after i decided to treat us to chick-fil-a since we don't have one by us. also thought she could play in the play place there since she's never been in one.

lunch was great, then came playing. that went fine too, until she started holding her butt and said she needed to poop.

as a mom i am always anticipating what might spur a tantrum, in this case, leaving the playground after she played. so i saw this as an easy out.

"ok! if you go poop, we can get some ice cream!" (and hop in the car for the peaceful drive back)

wrong. of course.

before i continue you should know that from the time she first says she has to poop it's at least another hour or two before she does. sometimes it's not even until the next day. she just holds her butt and goes back to the toilet 5 or 6 times. so annoying.

so, i take her in and she actually tried for a good ten minutes. nothing.

i tell her ok, let's go!

and it begins...

"i need to poop!"

toss her back on the toilet.

"i get ice cream, and play with my friends!"

more sitting and not doing anything.

"ok, you must not really have to go, let's go."

hops down, follows me to the door, then realizes it's the door to the outside, not the play place.

"no! my friends! i not go home!"

drag her to the car.

"i not get in my seat! i not going home! i stay here! i need to poop! i need to poop! don't take me! no, mom, don't take me! i not go with you! don't taaaaaaakkkkkkkeeeeee me!"

(thankfully she threw in the mom bit, because i was certain someone was going to call the cops thinking i kidnapped her)

after some disciplining i finally got her strapped in.

climb in the drivers seat, start the car, and here comes round two.

"don't drive! don't drive! no! stop driving my car! stooooooop! don't take me! don't drive!"

here i start to laugh because as i backed up and had to stop to let someone by she calmed down, thinking she won. then started right back up as i inched the car more.

more driving, more screaming, turn the radio up.

when i pulled onto the ramp to get on 65 she completely lost her mind.

"no! i have to poop! take me back! i not going home! i not see maggio! don't drive! stop! don't take me! no! no! don't take me!"

then came my absolute favorite "I HAVE TO POOP IN THE CHICKEN HOUSE!"

oh child. your aunt always warned me threes were harder than two. thanks for not being too terrible this past year. be kind to me, or at least keep me laughing!


Kelly Pifer said...

This made me laugh so hard! She is so preciously and perfectly hilariously heading for three. My son is nearly there as well and I am also loving the randomness he spews forth. Our cars are totally under his control in his mind, he is the ultimate back seat driver with his "Go Mom, the light is green. Go, go, go!" and "Pass them, they're slow poking!" directives. Yesterday I was advised "I wanna drive of a cliff, Mom! Let's drive off a cliff to those train tracks and go drive in the woods." Sounded almost tempting as an escape from rush hour traffic, lol! Thanks for writing.

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