Thursday, September 1, 2011

bringing home delia.

as soon as we got to st. louis we got the call that delia was ready to be picked up. i hate saying that. she should just be with us.

that was one of the hardest talks/decisions through all of this. neither one of us wanted to have her cremated, but i couldn't stand the thought of her not being home with us.

babies need to be with their mama's. mama's need their babies.

i need to hold her. i need to know she is close.

if only we were bringing her home in a carseat. home to baby toys, a finished nursery, and a jealous big sister.

man i only wish we could have the sibling battles. a gassy baby. the sleepless nights. the pain of nursing.

i'd give anything for all of that.

at least after today our family will be together again. there is no separating us.

3 comments:

Vanessa said...

I want to take even a fraction of this pain away from you. I'm so sorry. Love.

jackie said...

"babies need to be with their mama's. mama's need their babies."

So true, and I completely support your decision. I knew exactly why you made it. Prayers, hugs, and love, Shel.

Erin said...

I wish. I wish you could have those sleepless nights, those moments so many of us take for granted or wish away. My heart aches for you.

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